


Monogamy? Is That a Type of Wood?

by Yhles_the_Unpronounceable



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Bed-destroying sex, Eventual Polycule Endgame, F/F, Monogamy? What's That?, More Tags to be Added as Chapters Are Written, Shameless Smut, Shower Sex, When the Queen Tells You to Bite Her, You Do What the Queen Says, comedic smut, post s5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 12:22:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25849480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yhles_the_Unpronounceable/pseuds/Yhles_the_Unpronounceable
Summary: “It was Glimmer’s idea,” Catra blurted. Wow, Glimmer thought, way to have her back.“What?” Glimmer rounded on her, clutching her towel. “It wasnotmy idea!Youmade the first move!”“Youliterallytold me to fuck you!” Catra said. “What am I supposed to do, disobey a direct order from the queen?”“Oho, that’s rich!” Glimmer scoffed. “So when I tell you to clean up after yourself in the kitchen, that’s just a friendly suggestion, but when I say to bite me, suddenly it’s a royal edict?”“Girls, girls! Why are you fighting?” Adora cried. Much to Glimmer’s surprise, there was no bloodline-ending fury burning in her friend’s eyes.*Or*Glimmer and Catra have one hell of a night together, then one hell of an awkward conversation with Adora the morning after.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 212





	Monogamy? Is That a Type of Wood?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I admit it, I am multishipper trash. I love Catradora to friggin' pieces, but it won't stop me from pairing the two of them off with half the rest of the cast when the mood strikes me.
> 
> This story will be left with an open-ended chapter-count because I plan on updating it with more entries as inspiration strikes. Enjoy!
> 
> (Chapter 1: Glitra)

“Fuck you!”

“Fuck me yourself, coward!”

It was supposed to just be a snarky comeback. Glimmer hadn’t meant for Catra to take it literally. Apparently being called a coward was a hell of a motivator.

Though, the Queen of Brightmoon had to admit as Catra brought her to the (Third? Fourth? Hundredth?) screaming climax that night, she couldn’t really complain that the former Horde soldier had taken her words at face value. Where the hell had Catra learned to do that thing with her tongue? And how hard would Glimmer need to beg to get her to teach her?

Glimmer gave as good as she got, of course. She wasn’t going to let the Horde Scum make her into some whimpering pillow princess (no matter how good it felt to just squeeze those pillows as Catra did unspeakable things to her). Oh no. She made certain Catra knew her magic was good for more than just sparkling lights and a cheap taxi service. Glimmer may not have had the physical conditioning to match the feline soldier’s stamina, but she had more than enough determination and also access to an embarrassingly thorough arsenal of toys that she was not above using.

The shredded, sex-stained mess of a bed the two woke up in the next morning was nothing compared to the social mess they realized they’d made for themselves as the sun filtered in through Glimmer’s sparkling curtains.

“Fuck… Adora’s gonna _kill_ me!” Catra moaned.

“Kill _you?_ ” Glimmer said, trying in vain to use a brush to tame the tangled disaster her hair had become. “You’re not the one who just seduced her girlfriend! _I’m_ the one who’s dead!”

“Okay, well, you didn’t _seduce_ me, Sparkles.” Catra pushed herself up, fixing Glimmer with a smoldering glare. “If anyone seduced anyone, _I_ seduced _you._ ”

“Debatable,” said Glimmer.

Catra rolled out of Glimmer’s bed. She yelped, having apparently forgotten the three-meter drop to the floor, but she still landed with a grace that momentarily made Glimmer forget about her impending future as a victim of justified regicide. It just wasn’t fair how _good_ Catra looked, even stumbling around with her fur matted and hair all mussed up.

“Well what about Bow?” Catra asked as she hobbled towards the bathroom. “How is he gonna react, huh?”

Glimmer rolled her eyes and teleported down to the floor. Woah, her legs were _not_ up to the task of holding her up today. Fuck. “Can you really imagine Bow lashing out in some kind of jealous rage?”

“Fair,” Catra conceded, “but he is gonna make those sad puppy eyes, and that’s just as bad as getting clobbered by She-Ra. Take it from someone who’s experienced both.” She turned on the bathroom faucet and splashed water on her face. She then gave a lost glance at Glimmer’s array of body lotions, cleansers, and creams.

Glimmer helped her pick out a relatively scent-free soap that hopefully would help with the sticky patches in her fur, and some shampoo and conditioner for herself. The two of them then stepped into the shower together. It was only natural; it saved water, and it wasn’t like they _didn’t_ want to see each other naked. That much had been abundantly clear last night.

“What are we gonna tell them?” Glimmer asked, rubbing suds into Catra’s back fur for her.

Rivers dripped down Catra’s face. “Do we need to tell them anything? We should just keep it to ourselves, pretend this whole thing never happened.”

Glimmer’s hands stopped. “You really think we can just keep it a secret?”

“Yeah, I do.” Catra ran a hand over her face then turned around to face Glimmer. Her wet fur laid flat against her body, making her look even more naked than she’d been last night and damn it, Glimmer wanted her again. “I don’t think you’d be surprised to hear I’m good at secrets, and I _know_ you’re better at them than you let on. Nobody has to know about what we did.”

Glimmer chewed her lip. Lying to Bow and Adora didn’t sound like something a _good_ queen would do. But then again, neither was sleeping with her best friend’s girlfriend, so that line was probably already crossed. And Catra really wasn’t wrong about Bow’s sad puppy eyes. She didn’t really want to see those.

“Okay,” Glimmer agreed. “Nobody needs to know.” And despite the danger as morning broke and the castle began to wake – scratch that, possibly even _because_ of the danger – Glimmer found her hand sliding around Catra’s ass as a smirk settled onto her lips. “And if it happens again… nobody needs to know about that, either, right?”

What was one more round in the shower, really? They were already getting clean, anyway, so it wasn’t like they were adding to the mess. And the sound of the running water helped drown out the gasps and moans the two of them couldn’t quite stifle as Glimmer pressed Catra against the tile wall.

***

To say Glimmer was shocked to find Adora waiting in her bedroom when she stepped out wrapped in a towel was an understatement of the highest order. Adora was going to be saved the trouble of having to kill Glimmer herself, because the queen was fairly certain her heart stopped beating the moment she laid eyes on her friend’s red jacket and blonde ponytail.

“Glimmer,” Adora greeted. “I let myself in, I hope you don’t mind. I wanted to catch you before breakfast so we could go over the agenda for the next meeting. Oh hi, Catra.”

Glimmer was frozen where she stood, so she couldn’t see Catra’s expression behind her, but judging from the deafening silence, she guessed it matched the wide-eyed terror on her own face.

“A… Adora,” Glimmer managed to choke out, forcing a smile onto her face. “Did I ever tell you about this little Brightmoon tradition we have called ‘knocking?’”

Adora blushed. “Yeah, I’m sorry, I just had an idea for what we could call the war room now that it’s peacetime, and I was too excited to wait, and… is something wrong, Glimmer?”

Glimmer laughed, too loudly. “Ha! No, no, everything’s _fine,_ Adora! Why would you think there was anything wrong?”

Adora creased her brows. “Well, because you and Catra look like you’ve both been hit with stun batons. Did the shower go cold on you guys?”

Now it was Catra’s turn to laugh too loud and too tense. “Ha. Ha-ha. We weren’t, like… I just, uh, happened to be here, and, you know how showers in the Fright Zone were all communal, and so it’s like… why waste water, am I right? Ha, ha.”

How had Catra ever convinced Glimmer that she was smooth in any possible sense of the word? In what world did she believe that a plan that relied on Catra keeping her cool was bound for anything besides complete disaster? It took all her strength not to smack her palm into her face right there.

Adora, though, just nodded thoughtfully. “That makes sense,” she said.

Really? Glimmer knew her friend could be oblivious sometimes, but she didn’t know how anyone could have bought into that jumbled line of tripe. Not that she was going to object if it meant somehow getting away without her friend turning into an eight-foot warrior goddess and hurling her out of the window.

“And you guys _would_ need a shower,” Adora said, rubbing her chin, “considering all the sex.”

If Glimmer’s heart hadn’t stopped working before, now it _definitely_ stopped. And fell out of her chest, and started twitching on the floor. That was the only possible explanation for the sensation she felt right now.

Somehow though, Glimmer’s mouth kept forming words, even though she was obviously dead. Just a nude corpse wrapped in a towel, soul long departed as she stammered out a denial. “ _Whaa—at?_ Catra and I weren’t having… what on Etheria would give you the idea that we were, I mean, we would _never…_ ”

“Yeah,” supplied Catra, “Glimmer’s not even my type.”

Okay, ouch for one, and for two that was definitely a lie, if the way Catra had yowled in the shower was any indication. But now was not the time to call Catra on her bullshit.

That was Adora’s job. The blonde gave them both a flat expression. “You know my room is just down the hall, right? These walls aren’t _that_ thick, you guys. Besides, even if I was deaf…” she pointed at the tattered bedsheets hanging from Glimmer’s bed. “I know Catra doesn’t do that for just a back-rub. You two _definitely_ had sex. And it must’ve been a lot of it, judging from all the marks on your neck.”

Glimmer yelped and tried to cover the hickeys on her throat with her hand.

“It was Glimmer’s idea,” Catra blurted. Wow, way to have her back.

“What?” Glimmer rounded on her, clutching her towel. “It was _not_ my idea! _You_ made the first move!”

“You _literally_ told me to fuck you!” Catra said. “What am I supposed to do, disobey a direct order from the queen?”

“Oho, that’s rich!” Glimmer scoffed. “So when I tell you to clean up after yourself in the kitchen, that’s just a friendly suggestion, but when I say to bite me, suddenly it’s a royal edict?”

“Girls, girls! Why are you fighting?” Much to Glimmer’s surprise, there was no bloodline-ending fury burning in her friend’s eyes. If there was anything in Adora’s countenance, it was earnest concern.

Catra shouldered past Glimmer. “Listen, Adora, we can explain.”

“Explain? What’s there to explain?” Adora blinked. After a moment, a sly grin slid onto her face. “Oh, do you mean like, the _details?_ We can go over those after breakfast, if you want to share.” She licked her lips.

Glimmer creased her brows. “Adora…” she said, hesitating. “Are you really… not mad at us?”

Adora inclined her head. “Mad at you? Why would I be mad? If anything, I’m relieved. I was a little worried you two might not get along. But, heh… you sure were getting along last night, huh?”

Catra’s tail drooped. “We violated your trust, Adora. _I_ violated your trust. I’m so sorry… I’m an _awful_ girlfriend.”

Adora wrapped Catra in a hug, confusion plain on her face as she pat her girlfriend’s back. “I don’t understand. How did you violate my trust, Catra? There’s no way you had time to go burn down a village or something.” She raised her eyes to Glimmer. “Right?”

“Have you… never heard of monogamy, Adora?” Glimmer asked.

Adora wrinkled her nose. “Is that the board game Bow kept trying to get us to play while we were in space?”

“No, that was monotony,” Catra mumbled into her shoulder.

“The game was called—” Glimmer shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. _Monogamy_ is the idea that you should only have one romantic partner, and only ever be with them. In like, a…” She mimed… you know what, nevermind what she mimed with her fingers. “ _That_ sort of being with.”

Adora nodded slowly. “Okay. Is this like… a popular thing in Brightmoon? Because nobody ever told me about it, and I’ve lived here for three years now.”

Glimmer nearly dropped her towel as she gaped. “Y-yeah, it’s pretty popular. I mean, there are polys out there, but generally everyone involved has to agree that’s what they want. Did they really not teach you about any of this in the Horde?”

“The Horde wasn’t really big on relationships of any kind,” said Adora, shrugging. “Hordak’s instructions went along the lines of…” She dropped her voice to a low, gravelly mimicry of Hordak’s voice. _“‘Take a standard-issue vibration unit and deal with your disgusting Etherian urges somewhere I don’t have to witness it.’”_ She rubbed her chin. “I wonder if Mr. Shaky is still where I left him under my bunk in the Fright Zone?”

Catra shook her head. “I moved him into the Force Captains’ quarters when I got promoted.”

Glimmer shifted her eyes to Catra. “Well if that’s the case, why were _you_ freaking out, Catra?”

Catra shrugged. “I got my sexual education from swiping books and vids from the contraband locker. Those all seemed to agree people are supposed to freak out when their girlfriend sleeps with someone else.”

Adora knit her brows together. “So wait… you guys both were expecting me to blow up at you or something because you slept together?”

Glimmer rubbed the back of her neck, still damp from the shower. “Well yeah. But we still did it anyway. We’re sorry, Adora.”

Adora looked back and forth between Glimmer and Catra. After a minute, she sighed. “Okay, well I forgive you? I guess? I still don’t really get it, but if you guys feel guilty for it, then I guess I accept your apology. I’m not gonna get angry at my best friends for having a good time together.” She smiled and extended a hand, inviting Glimmer into the hug.

Glimmer hesitated a moment, but ultimately accepted the invitation. She felt Catra purr as Adora held both of them close, paying no heed to the way their wet bodies soaked her clothing.

“I swear, Adora,” Catra said, sniffing, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Well you’re not getting rid of me,” Adora replied, grinning. After a minute, the expression was replaced with a thoughtful frown. “Wait… is this monogo… whatever thing supposed to work the other way, too? Am I in trouble if _I_ slept with someone else?”

Catra pulled back. “Why? Who did you sleep with?” Even though she didn’t have any space to be jealous at this point, Glimmer saw the hackles raise on the back of Catra’s neck.

“Well you might’ve learned about sex from stolen books,” Adora explained, “but I didn’t. I didn’t have a clue about any of that stuff, so when I was in Plumeria and Perfuma offered to teach me a few things, I agreed. She’s a firm believer in learning by doing…”

Glimmer chuckled. “Of course! If you learned about sex from a free-love Plumerian hippie like Perfuma, then it makes total sense you don’t have a clue what jealousy is supposed to mean.”

“That was way before Catra said she loved me,” said Adora. “Does that still count? I don’t know the rules here – did I fail at this whole mahogany thing before even starting?”

“Perfuma?” asked Catra, biting her lip. “How much did you… how much did she _‘teach’_ you?”

Adora’s cheeks reddened. “Well… you remember that thing I did with you the other night? With my thumb and forefinger?” She made a shape with her hand that left Glimmer with no doubts about where that shape was meant to go.

Catra’s eyes widened and she gasped. “That was her?”

Adora nodded. “Perfuma’s way better at it. I can’t get my thumb to move in smooth circles the way she does it.”

“Huh,” Catra said, considering. Her tail twitched. “I think you’re starting to sell me on this free-love stuff.”

Okay. That was more than enough. Even though there was a horny little gremlin in Glimmer that wanted to hear a bit more of this conversation, the rest of her remembered that she was supposed to be the Queen of Brightmoon and had to act with a little more dignity than was afforded her while wearing nothing but a towel and listening to her friends mere inches away discussing which fingers to put where and at what angles.

“I need to get dressed,” Glimmer announced, squirming out of Adora’s grasp. “Thank you, Adora, for being so understanding and not throwing me out of my bedroom window, but now I need you and Catra to get out so I can hold court in something besides just a bathtowel.”

“What’s the matter, Sparkles?” Catra leered at her. “It’s not like you’ve got anything under there I wasn’t just staring at a few minutes ago.”

Glimmer’s cheeks burned. “Maybe not you, but I haven’t fucked Adora yet.”

“Yet?” Adora perked up. “What do you mean by ‘yet?’”

 _“Out!”_ Glimmer growled.

Catra grinned and pulled Adora toward the door. “Let’s go, Adora. That sounded like a royal order.”

“’Yet’ implies plans to change that in the future, doesn’t it?” Adora murmured as she was led out. “I mean, I certainly wouldn’t say no; Glimmer’s cute, as I’m sure you can attest, Catra, but man, this monolgy stuff is complicated. Is she a monologist? I mean, she talked about it like she was, but she also slept with you, and now she’s coming onto me. And does kissing count, or is it just about privates? Because if kissing counts, Entrapta was running this experiment a while ago…”

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, be sure to leave a comment! I love hearing from you folks!
> 
> If you hated it, congratulations on having taste! Leave a comment anyway.


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